How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Text me some of your sweat
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
