I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
