nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
