you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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