Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so let's talk penis.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
