U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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