that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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