This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
