I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
