i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
