part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
