At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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