She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
