People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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