yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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