it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize