I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
