I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
