Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
