wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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