So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
