Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish my penis had a tongue
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize