I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
