You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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