Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
