Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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