I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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