I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
