i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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