careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
