So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
