I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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