glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
