She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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