there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize