Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
