Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
