I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
