You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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