NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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