Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
