so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I love you. Go after that dick
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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