i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
