Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
