in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
