Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
