I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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