All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
