You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
