Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The Olympian is in my bed
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize