You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
