what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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