If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm really busy with my period
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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