I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
