One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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