i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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