My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
