i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
