How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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